So far/So near
I wrote this song after contemplating the reality that although I am so far from being as he is, He is still ONE with me. The fact that that ONENESS is completely by HIS plan, sacrifice, grace and design racks my brain every time i look into it. WHY?! He doesn’t have ANY NEED of me! Yet his desire for me caused Him to do something i will never truly be able to comprehend. all i know is that the more i meditate on it, the more i fall in love with Him. Where I am, and where I’m going has and always will be BECA– USE HE FIRST LOVED ME.
This track is really just about recognizing the goodness of what God has done in you and not settling for second best in your relationship with Him. The Bible sais that every good and PERFECT gift comes from God. Too often we settle for something just being GOOD and not striving for things to be PERFECT. I believe that in a PERFECT GOD, who has done a PERFECT WORK, there can be PERFECT PEACE and also PERFECT COMMUNION. We must have a faith for these things though. We must believe that the perfect God of the universe is doing a perfect work in us that is capable of bringing us to perfection in HIM.
I wrote this after imagining what it must feel like for God to see His bride (the Church) in adultery with so many different things. I imagine this is the cry of His heart concerning so many of us who have become distracted by the illusion of pleasure and beauty this world can bring. I would challenge the listener to think about there relationship with God as a marriage. Are you faithful? Are you in Love with God or just going through the motions of a relationship for duty sake? Is there still passion with in you for God like when you first met? why not? In order to take these things before Him and address Him there is something you must first do…. COME HOME.
This is just a call to so many women out there caught up in the deception of this beauty culture. striving to be stars on there own stages opt life and willing to degrade themselves before God and men in order to get attention and praise. She must understand that herr true beauty is measured in modesty and virtue, not in physical appearance. I believe lack of true identity in Christ produces this. an addiction to worldly worship and affection will have a person doing terrible things to be idolized, even if its just for the moment. There comes a time when we all must wake up to this truth… we are not here to present or represent ourselves before others. We are here to present and represent almighty God. We must allow Him to KILL own self made idols and recognize Him as being worthy of ALL praise. Not just our own, but everyone else’s as well. this will save us from the terrible sin of trying to steal attention away from him and point it to ourselves.
No turning back
this is a repetitive declaration song that states that no matter what i won’t go back to my old ways. i trust God with my soul and my life and I’m committed to His path for me. whatever may come, i submit and surrender.
Break right down
a quick interlude speaking about that feeling that comes over me when i meditate on all He has done for me. It forces me to tears of joy and reverence and thankfulness. i know i was headed for hell. i hated Him. the thought that he would do what he did for me is overwhelming to say the least.
Did it 4 you
This song addresses the issue most people have with making the Gospel PERSONAL. its not enough to just know what Christ did on the cross. We must also recognize that EVERYTHING he endured, he did that for US. As a whole body, but also as individual members. This will cause you to not only see the Gospel in new light and appreciation. but from that new place you will experience a deeper level of intimacy with God that will affect not only your worship, but also you obedience to Him and His word.
Falling in luv
this song describes the reality that not only am i falling deeper in love with God the more i spend time with Him in light of His truth, but that i am powerless to stop it. He is too good to resist and His love is too strong to ignore it. I’m not just affected by Him, i am INFECTED by him. and its the greatest and truest feeling i have ever felt.
This is a metaphor about how the harsh conditions of my environment affected me. the feeling that comes with knowing that everything around you is trying to stop and stifle your growth and wondering why you were placed in a place like this. i realize that unless you understand that there is a PURPOSE for your suffering, you will feel hopeless to endure it most times. The bible mentions many times that thought we will go through hard times… there is ALWAYS a purpose. i see that now. i know that regardless of how desperate my situation may seem, i have the duty and privilege of worshiping God and trusting him and even thanking Him through it all. i must pray and ask him to reveal his will to me in the situation and move towards obeying it regardless the outcome. His glory must override my comfort.
Help me stand
This was the first song i wrote when God told me to put this album together. this is exactly how i was feeling during that time and i know I’m not the only one in this place. i recognize that apart from God the trials of life would sweep me away and leave nothing left… but in Christ i know i can withstand all that may come my way. This song is just me asking god to help me to do just that… stand.
this is the title track of the project. i actually just went into the studio and freestyles this entire song. i put the track on and just started singing and this is what came out. after the main vocal i just laid some background stuff and that was that. i started crying early in the song and got lost in the emotion of what God was doing in me at the time. i know that whoever is facing trials and doesn’t know what to do needs this… just lose yourself in him and cry out to him. He will meet you where you are. DO NOT act on your own ideas… WAIT for Gods instruction and trust His timing in ALL things. He knows best and has a perfect plan for his children.
God gave me this song about 2 years ago while i was staying wit a family i was mentoring in the faith. i remember being in a place of doubt with God. Things were going crazy in my life and i couldn’t see the good in anything, not even Him. I knew it was an attack of the devil though so i just cried out to God to deliver me from my blindness. And He did just that. That’s why Gods word but be TRUTH and not our feelings or even perceptions. sometime we can see what IS there… sometime we can’t feel what IS real. so we must stand on His word and not our own emotions or sight… these things can and will betray us at times. There is nothing wrong with being honest with God about where you are at, He desires it. that is true fellowship, transparency. just also be willing to hear sometime a harsh truth in light of your struggle. be prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to be brought back into your correct place with God.
this is a track i built around a good sermon i heard from Mark Driscoll. it basically just addresses the fact that we need to acknowledge to true gift that in in Christ and that IS Christ. to not be casual or apathetic about something so beautiful and loving. We need to give God the true honor and worship he deserves and stop acting as if our struggles or conditions determine HIS GLORY. He is worthy NO MATTER WHAT. since i have learned this from Him, it has helped me make it through so many things with a victorious attitude in light of who Christ is both to and for me. don’t just say thank you… LIVE thank you.
This track is about the fact that i recognize that though i am flawed, he IS NOT. and my joy, peace and strength is in HIS perfection and not my own. i know that God gets the most glory from my life when i endure by His strength. That’s how people know He is real. not because i am strong on my own, but because they see me at my end and yet still able to stand firm and keep my head high. nothing in this world produces that. I’ve had many people come to me asking about Jesus not when they are doing well, but when they are struggling and know that left to themselves, they won’t make it. i love watching how god can use even our moments of weakness to put his strength on display.
i wrote this song during a sound check at an event years ago. i saw a piano in the corner of the room and God said “go play”. when i did, this song came out of me without any thought or effort. its definitely one of my favorite songs I’ve ever written. i have personal reasons i won’t share in this moment as to why but this song has helped me through some very dark times. originally it was only about a min. long and so i decided i wanted to redo it and extend it and make it a lil bigger this time around. i pray it touches someone the way it has touched me over the years. it reminds me that i need not look to ANY thing else for comfort or security. my first instinct needs to be that i run to Him… but that will only happen if i recognize Him to be not just A safe place, but the SAFEST place i will ever know.
this sing was inspired by a convo i had with someone about how i never realized how extensive the love of God could change someone. i look back at not just who, but HOW i used to be and i can’t even believe the change sometimes. i cant take ANY credit either. i resisted and ran from this change many many times. i would pray for it, but would run from the process it takes to create it. I’m just thankful god loved me enough to continue to peruse me despite my best efforts to escape him. and I’m thankful that He saw value in my mess and is working all things out to bring me closer to Him in all aspects of my life.